AN ADVENTURE I COULD DO WITHOUT


I think most of you know I made a trip to Texas to visit my mother who had a stroke. She wanted me to come to say goodbye. In many ways, a sad trip. But the reason I am writing about this trip has to do with the getting there and back part. This is probably the last time I will ever fly again.

Four years ago, Freeacre and I made another trip to Texas by air. The trip had some stress to it and I disliked all the security stuff, but it was doable. This time, I might have gotten myself in some real problems because of the way people are being treated.

I think most of us can agree that this whole terrorist thing with the Homeland Security is bull shit. It was instituted for another agenda rather than protection of the population. The severity with which it has been implemented is something to behold first hand. I don’t know if any of the readers of this post have done any air travel lately. If you haven’t and are thinking of it, hang on, because you are about to be treated as a potential terrorists until proven otherwise.

When I got to the check in counter, I was told that there was a very small limit in the amount of gels, liquids and sprays that I could have with me in my baggage. What I had was a small travel tube of tooth paste and a very small travel container of Old spice in case I decided to trim my beard. These had to be in a sealed plastic bag that would hold no more than a quart I think it was. Freeacre had 2 small jars of jelly she had made to give to sis and mother, and it was a large enough amount that it had to go in checked baggage or it couldn’t go. She took it back home. I was changing planes three times and I’m not about to check baggage if I can help it. Now I find this interesting. I understand the chemistry of mixing common household substances together to make an explosive. I also understand the absolute mayhem and death and destruction one can inflict with fingernail clippers and pen knives and such articles. But for the life of me, I can’t figure out how to make an explosive strong enough to do significant damage on an airplane with a few ounces of liquids, sprays or gels. I guess I’m just going to have to set down and reread “the Anarchists Cookbook” again. I must have overlooked something.

After this got straightened out, Freeacre grumpily took back her jelly and retreated back to the bench with a now overloaded purse of explosive materials and I am wondering what is taking so long to get my boarding pass. The girl behind the computer looks at me and says, “I need a picture ID”. Hmmm. Ok, here is my driver’s license. “What’s the problem?” “Well”, she says, “You’re on the watch-no-fly list”. Now Freeacre and I had talked about this and speculated about whether I was on this list principally because of my rather extreme criticism of these thugs in Washington and writing about it. So I was prepared to go home, apply for ticket refund and call my sister and mother and explain why I couldn’t get there. Come to find out, if there is someone with your first and last name that has committed some terrible act against the country and threatened the security of our great and noble democracy, and is on the loose, anyone with that name is immediately on the watch or no fly list. In fact, I think you can’t get off the list once you are on, and nobody will tell you why you are on the list. Isn’t this a great country? The woman spent some time doing whatever security thing she had to do to clear my name for boarding. Now by this time I’m getting a little tense and wondering how long I could hold out in prison until the revolution sets me free. Plus it is 4:30 in the morning; I’m not at my best at this time anyway. Freeacre decides to wait and have me get through security before she heads off for the hour drive back home. Let’s see, with my pants falling down my ass, (my belt has a metal buckle, imagine that, and might be dangerous and has to be inspected), my hat, shoes and everything in my pockets in the blue plastic tray, including my glasses, I get passed through after 3 tries through the worm hole portal entrance to the sky. I noticed that every other person going through this has slip on shoes or flip flops. Bad preparation if the plane goes down on the high desert or the mountains. Geez. They didn’t question my sack of trail mix or the little bag of nitro around my neck. Just think what I could have smuggled on the plane in a bottle ½ inch high by ¼ inch diameter.

Ok, I get to Portland and have to change planes to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Not too bad so far but in Portland, I had to do this security stuff all over again, all of it. I stagger through feeling somewhat like one sheep in a flock, sit and wait for a couple of hours, read a book and get on the plane to Albuquerque. In Albuquerque is where the fun starts. I have a 2 hour lay-over here and have to change planes going to Odessa, Texas. This terminal is a mad house; thousands and thousands of travelers. When I got off the plane, we were turned loose in the secure area, that is, we didn’t have to go through the security check again. We were literally let out in the loading area for the plane change. About this time I am tired of the whole thing, don’t want to eat any of the airport food, my back hurts and I’m getting grumpy. A half hour before the flight, we finally get the call to board the plane. We are all standing in line, and this guy in a security garb comes over to the line and begins pulling people out and literally frisking them, patting them down, and having them empty their pockets and open carry on bags and empty purses. He begins at the beginning of the line and starts working his way down it. I am near the end of the line. I watch this and my temper begins to take over. Bag at my feet, I start planning how I am going to put the guy down when he comes to me. I am rapidly getting into a berserker rage. The woman behind me must have sensed something and whispers, “hey guy, take it easy”. This S.O.B has a sneer on his face as he is doing this. As he finishes with a person and moves on to his next victim, I was absolutely astonished that his victims laugh and seem to think it is funny. I had this thought start coming to the surface of my mind that these sheep better not ever depend on me for help at anything. Honestly, I was thinking anyone that would joke about this kind of stuff doesn’t deserve to live in this society. Well, I was saved from a rather brutal mistake in action by the line moving to get on the plane and he didn’t stop me. I fumed all the way to Odessa and until I got to my sisters place. I’m still fuming, obviously. Thank goodness the trip back was uneventful except for the being herded along with a great many other bovines through the chutes for branding and inoculation. I have mentioned this incident to a couple of people, I’m still fuming remember, and their reaction is that we have to put up with this for our own safety. Now the question I ask is, JUST HOW MANY FREEDOMS DO YOU THINK IT IS APPROPRIATE TO GIVE UP FOR THIS FLIGHT SAFETY LIE? I guess we just keep giving up just one more freedom for a promise of safety, till there is no more freedom left. What ya think about this my friends?

Now I am writing about this because from my point of view this was one of the more intrusive and degrading experiences I have had, not the only one for sure, but at my age, I have a tendency to think more intently about bad ass resistance to such shit. I’m just glad I got home without landing my ass in jail or worse.

Whenever an airline says they aren’t making any money and are filing for bankruptcy, I am going to be real cynical about it. Every airport I was in had constant thousands of people going through it, and every plane I was on was filled to capacity. I suspect the 700 to 1 ratio for CEO pay has more to do with the bottom line than lack of passengers. Plus, I very much doubt that the little packs of honey salted peanuts you get in the air are taking much out of the bottom line. They do encourage you to bring your own food, but how to get it past security? That Big Mac has definite terror usage written all over the wrapping. At least they don’t charge for the water or coffee to wash it down with. By the way, the orange juice tastes synthetic, can’t prove it, but I do wonder.

Since I have been home, I asked my retired cop friend about security personal that are hired for things like airports. He wasn’t very complimentary about them at all. He says that with few exceptions, most of them can’t be good janitors. His experience is that a very large proportion of them are ex cons. I don’t know. These people are not hired by the government you know. It is a private contractor that does the hiring and training. So you know that they are interested in low overhead.

Now here is my take on all of this, and has been for some time. This whole deal with watch lists, no fly lists, airport security searches and homeland security has nothing to do with keeping us safe from aircraft hijackers wanting to fly airplanes into some building in Bend, Oregon. It isn’t an over enthusiastic government going to extremes about this. What is it then? It is preparation of citizens to endure identity papers, arbitrary searches anywhere anytime and not to question it. It is preparation for a police state. There is no other reason to go to this extreme. I suppose it also serves the function of keeping the unemployment stats down. Pretty good article on this at Alternet.
http://www.alternet.org/rights/62407/

So I know that there is small chance of my flying again. Besides, as fuel prices increase, so will air fare cost and it is pretty high now. It cost $550 to go about 1800 miles each way and I got the old guy price break. The regular price of the trip through the big airlines was from $1800-$2300, depending on the airline used. If I had tried to drive it, I could figure a minimum of 3 days driving both ways and an average of $150 per day if I elected to stay overnight at a cheap motel. Now when I say cheap, I mean it. If there are no bullet holes in the walls and I can’t see any rat shit on the floor, it’s good enough and that quality of room is beginning to cost more and more too. Last trip we took we were doing good to find a place to shower and sleep for less than $80 for the two of us. That is why I elected to fly down, 6 days on the road and it would cost more to drive it, and that’s not counting the wear and tear on me and the car. So I reckon if I can’t drive it, I won’t be going from now on. I refuse to voluntarily subject myself to that kind of humiliating treatment again. Now I got to be thinking what the repercussions are going to be in writing this essay for general consumption. Oh well, I rather imagine that we are going to be experiencing some pretty dark days coming up and my petty bitching about air travel security is going to be the least of my worries. I am supposing that all of you reading this have read how the military has lowered its standards way down for enlistees. Well, I figure that anything that has any connection with the government is going to be the same, including police. The few exceptional people are going to be snowed in by the incompetence surrounding them. I guess we got exactly what we’ve voted for over the years. It’s not a pretty picture.