The Box Boosh Finds Himself In

Oh what a fine mess we find ourselves in. If you have been wondering why Boosh is delaying his “speech to the nation” on whatever new course “he” chooses for Iraq, wonder no more. The cat is now out of the bag, and I will try to explain it to you.

A Call From the King

On November 22, 2006, the creepy VEEP Dick Cheney received a call ordering him to a meeting in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Though not many people on earth have the ability to tell Cheney what to do, much less when to do it, the Saudi Royal Family is the exception to this rule. This was not a request for a meeting, but an order for him to get his butt to Saudi Arabia, NOW. The King himself wanted to chat. Therefore, in a little less than 3 hours Cheney was aboard a private jet headed for Riyadh. There were no stops along the way, no itinerary listed, no public notices of the trip, nothing else on the agenda. You don’t even need a bag, he was told; just get your ass to Saudi Arabia. You won’t be here long. So he did go to the desert as ordered, and he did not stay long.

Upon his arrival, it soon became apparent that this was the Saudi version of taking Booshco out behind the woodshed. In no uncertain terms, Cheney was essentially told the following.

1) You invaded Iraq after we told you not to.

2) You deposed Saddam Hussein after we told you that the repercussions would be worse than any evil Hussein could possibly inflict on the Iraqi people.

3) You now have a book from the Iraq Study Group suggesting that you get out of Iraq and leave the mess you created unattended.

4) You WILL NOT LEAVE IRAQ.

So, should you ignore us again, these will be the consequences.

1) Your 80 percent plan that we hear you are considering will not be allowed to happen. (this is the plan floated that suggests that 80% of Iraq—Shiites and Kurds-- will be appeased, while 20%--Sunnis-- will be left out of the mix)

2) We will fully fund the Sunni insurgency already in Iraq.

3) We will send additional fighters into Iraq to help prevent the inevitable slaughter of the remaining minority Sunni’s that will occur should you leave.

4) We will drop the price of oil to limits unseen for many years, (ouch) thus taking the cash cow away from your big oil buddies and perhaps even putting them out of business in the process.

Now, get back on the plane and go pass the word to Boosh that you are not leaving Iraq in the mess it is currently in. We will not stand by and watch our Sunni brothers be sacrificed for what we told you not to do in the first place. Get it done, and get it done NOW. So Cheney did leave, and he did deliver the message to Boosh.

Meanwhile, Back At Home

Shortly after Cheney’s little trip to Saudi Arabia, on November 29, Nawaf Obaid wrote an editorial that was published in the Washington Post. Obaid was a Saudi “consultant” at the time, and wrote that Saudi Arabia would back the Sunni’s in Iraq should we leave and that they would then drop the price of oil. Though it is unclear whether the Royal Family had any knowledge of this article beforehand, (ha-ha) Obaid was fired immediately after it was published. Maybe he jumped the gun and put it in the press before the Royal Family had the opportunity to deliver the exact same message in person to Cheney, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyway. The point is that what he wrote is exactly what they told Cheney they will do. Isn’t it shocking that the mainstream media never picked up on the editorial and barely mentioned the Cheney trip? Hardly, their corporations are some of the ones benefiting most from the obscene big oil profits.

Also, on Monday of this week, the Saudi ambassador to the United States, Turki as-Faisal, inexplicably quit his post, basically without notice, and returned home. It was said that he “wanted to spend more time with his family,” along with some suggestions that his brother is ill and he may want to take over his post, even some rumors that he was fired. But, this is not how things are done in the diplomatic world. Ambassadors don’t leave mostly friendly countries essentially in the dark of the night without announcement, with no successor in place and without informing the host country of future plans. What this means in Cyclone English is that the Royal Family is pissed and they are showing that they are not playing with these idiots anymore. Now that we have laid the background, let’s move to the actions of Boosh of late.

Since the Cheney trip, many things have occurred in the world of the Boosh. The long awaited Iraq Study Group has announced its findings, a rather unpleasant result for Boosh. Side one of the box has been erected. Seventy three percent of the American people have said that they support the ISG findings, and want a way out of Iraq as soon as possible. Another wall goes up. Most long time Republican supporters of Boosh, both in and out of Congress have realized that the shit just ain’t working in Iraq and are demanding change immediately. Side three complete. Boosh has promised the American people that he will listen to many people and make a major speech (I can hardly wait) before Christmas announcing “the new way forward in Iraq,” something that the American people recently demanded at the ballot box. All four walls of the box are now in place. So, how does a Boosh begin to tear down the enclosure he finds himself surrounded by?

First, he lamely said that he will not be “pushed” into hurrying his speech, since it’s so profoundly important, (profound and Boosh should not be used in the same context, I know) so he delays it until after the first of the year. His reasoning is suspect at best, absurd in reality. Boosh said that he wanted to give new Defense Secretary Robert Gates time to study the ISG proposal. Since Gates was a leading member of the Study Group before agreeing to become the new Secretary of Defense, it is unthinkable that he is not familiar with what it says. He is, after all, a pretty smart guy.

Second, he spends a week or two running around interviewing everyone from retired Generals to White House cooks trying to find someone, anyone, who disagrees with the view that we should leave Iraq in a timely manner. Outside of John McCain and a few others, he’s not having much success at that.

Now, he is allegedly pondering following the McCain proposal of increasing troop strength though it is virtually unanimous that there is no military solution to the Iraq debacle. Sending in 40-50,000 more troops will not save the place, and we would have to scrounge to find that many troops to send. Some men and women would have to be sent to Iraq for the fifth or sixth time for this to be possible, and that is frankly unconscionable. Not that three or four such trips is any less revolting, mind you. He might find that the American people, who want us out of Iraq, might not take kindly to him sending more troops in.

What is a Boosh To Do?

Incompetence does not begin to cover what this man has done to this nation. He appears to be as worried about his “legacy” as he is about anything else. (I have an idea on how to save his legacy, but that is for another post) I wrote a very long time ago that he screws up EVERYTHING he touches, and that has not changed one iota. Iraq is the biggest disaster in American history; I don’t think that is even arguable anymore. His base has left him over this war, and those of us who consider ourselves progressives were never with him in the beginning. In short, this man is a mentally ill, dangerous imbecile.

I find the things that he says to be very telling. Just yesterday he said, and I’m paraphrasing here. “We will not leave Iraq until the mission is complete. The Iraqi people want to be free. How do I know that? Because the people spoke during the elections, while electing a democratic government.” Isn’t it interesting that he uses the voice of the people to justify staying in Iraq, yet totally ignores the voice of the people who allegedly elected him when they say it’s time to get out? He uses polls and opinions very selectively it seems, but never uses them when it involves the voices of the American people. Those voices are totally ignored, regardless of how rational they may be.

A while back Boosh said that “the people have spoken,” in reference to the US elections. That doesn’t matter in the least to him, but someone else has spoken as well, the Saudi Royal Family. And, trust me, the fact that they spoke carries a whole lot more weight than anything 300 million Americans could ever say. The threat of dropping the price of a barrel of oil to 1970 levels is unthinkable to Boosh and his buddies. This war that is about oil and nothing but oil, always has been and always will be. How many American lives are worth a barrel of oil? Sadly, we are finding out the answer to that very question.

What are the American People to Do?

Unless we do something drastic, we will not be leaving Iraq anytime soon, regardless of what the ISG, the military advisors, the generals on the ground, you, Cyclone, or God himself says. We will lose many more soldiers, tens of thousands more Iraqi’s will be blown up, and the end result will be the same. We will have still lost the war and the Middle East will never be the same.

It is time for a revolt in this country. A revolt of massive proportions. When Boosh refuses to follow the recommendations of every rational person he speaks to and continues a stay the course policy in a loser of a war, it is time to do something. When Boosh bows to the Saudi Royal Family and continues to kill both American kids and Iraqi citizens at the rate of hundreds per day, it’s time to do something.

Here’s what I say should happen. Let’s line Pennsylvania Ave. with 50 million Americans and refuse to leave until the last soldier is out of Iraq. We’ll call it the World’s Largest Tailgate Party. They can’t do anything besides lock a few of us up. Let the Saudi’s drop the price of oil, we’ll all benefit from that in the short term. In the longer term, it will force us to do what we have to do anyway, which is use our innovation to live our lives without the benefit of having foreign oil. We have the technology, we have the brainpower, and we have the manpower. What we lack is the willpower. Does anyone have any idea how to motivate 50 million people to leave their own little box that they’ve constructed for themselves? If so, please speak up. Time is short.

Cyclone